Tuesday, August 5, 2014

Mommalo 08.05.14

As I sit down in the early morning to try to capture all the thoughts running through my head, I am finding it hard to find a starting place. I have tried to do a blog post at least once a week. I had several different ideas ranging from the busy weekend my husband had (his new floundering lights, his floundering adventure, his cooking of said flounder, and then his marvelous creation of fish cakes from the leftovers) to my preparing for Kara's 4th birthday. However, those things will take a back burner this week.

My heart was heavy and my spirit was sad in light of the news we received on my grandmother this week. For some of you who don't know, my Mommalo, has been sick for about six months, After exhausting all options here locally in Panama City, her doctor sent her to Mayo for a second opinion. We have been waiting on confirmation from those findings and the diagnosis is a little worse then we were hoping.

I'm not gonna lie, but 
when I talked to my parents and my Aunt and you hear time frames and "worse than cancer" and "no cure" I felt like I was hit by a semi. After she came back from Mayo and we knew it wasn't cancer, I had hope again that we had options to get her better. It doesn't seem like that is the case. I did like I do with most sad news and cried....and cried....and cried. I woke up at four and cried some more. Evy actually slept through the night for the first time EVER and I didn't even enjoy it. 

But the morning light also brought some clarity and some renewed hope for my heart and spirit. Surprisingly, it isn't verses of healing or the powerful blood of Christ that have been on repeat in my head. It's Psalm 61:2. "From the end of the earth will I cry unto you, when my heart is overwhelmed: lead me to the rock that is higher than I." My heart was overwhelmed last night, already feeling a loss that hasn't even occurred yet. A time frame like "two years or less" seemed like such a horrible diagnosis. But then when I thought about what God can create in a time frame of seven days or how he can bring salvation to His creation in only 3 days....by hope was renewed in the Rock that is higher than I am.

My grandmother is such a strong woman of faith. Any one who knows her, knows that she is the spiritual matriarch of this Miles' family. We are all a close-nit family. She is the glue that holds us together. So much of who we are is because of her unfailing love for her family. She and my Pop have been together since she was 14! She had her first child when she was 16. She birthed two sets of twins. She survived the teenage years of my dad and Uncle Sammy. (That last statement should put her in the running for sainthood) She was a nurse and the best ultrasound tech in the panhandle for over 40 years. Her cornbread turkey dressing (not stuffing!) and fried cornbread is like southern crack served at the dinner table. She & Pop watched Karabella for her first year, a time so precious to me that my daughter was cared for by her great grandparents who gave her some much love and devotion and continue to. They both love my girls like no one else!

My Mommalo has such a strong legacy and for the time that we have left with her I am going to focus on those things and trying to know as much about her legacy as I can. I'm not going to dismiss the healing power of Jesus, I know He is still in the miracle-making business. But none of us are guaranteed tomorrow, so I am going to live in the Today, thankful and grateful that for the small time frame we have been given.

Miles Family Christmas 2013

My family and I continue to ask for your prayers for my Mommalo and my Pop. Things are still in the "decision-making" process as far as care and treatment options. My biggest prayer for my Mommalo is for strength. The amyloidosis has given her a loss of appetite and makes her nauseous. So if you are out there and you are reading this, please just take a brief moment to say a prayer for her. Prayer changes things, whether its the situation, the attitude of the situation, or the outcome of the situation...and we can use prayer in any and all of those things.

Till next time, 


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